My Thoughts on Today

O silly girl oh man oh me
O silly girl that I must be
Why must I sit down and cry
When you walk by
Past me
You harass me
When all you want to do is tell me
I like you



Scared. You run scared
While I'm prepared
I was goin to ask
But like a flash
of lightening you strike and run
You had you fun
And left me in a daze
I'm amazed
That I have found myself back in this place

Tuck my head into my legs
Crumple my heart
Throw the trash away
Depart
You scheming fiend
Your juggles I no more delight
To and fro is how you throw my heart

Heat

Daylight comes as a stray night runs from its soon encroaching doom. We all seek light a haven from night, but shade in the afternoon. Intense heat pounding from flames so astounding this mortal soul can't bear. I will soon come to wither if I am hindered; the fire comes the wood is scared.
So place me in the Son. I do not plan to run, I rather die in heats hot hands. Lay my soul asunder. I am choosing to go under into the fire upon holy lands.

I will...

I will let me feel pain
I'll take time and be real
Just because I'm smiling
Doesn't mean I don't feel

I will laugh when I cry
And I won't know why
It's because the me I seem
Is all a disguise

I will laugh when I cry
and I won't know why

LOVE

If only people could learn to love others. As I get older I grow more and more concerned for people my age "searching for love". Some say it doesn't exsist. Others try to find it in meaningless relationships. Some spend their entire life search for it. Some think that sex brings love. Others have no sex and still have no love. Some love objects. Some love people. Some love the concept. Love.

I hold tight to my anxieties. They give my comfort in my insanity. No one knows of my state. No one, but me. No one can see it. They cannot look past the smile, past the laugh, past the affected glee flaunted on my face. They can see absolutely nothing. Perhaps they are the fools or maybe I am a master of disguise. It is a mix of the first and the last.